We have a new little peanut in the family and I’m going to meet him this week iy”H! Nice gift for the beginning of the year πŸ™‚


Last week wasn’t really a writing week for me. Really, the past month or two have been harder, but I want to keep this blog afloat to the best of my ability. I hope that in some small way it’s doing a good thing by validating other people’s experiences, so I hope to continue sharing. I apologize if posts are more sporadic than they’ve been, but I suppose this is part of the ebb and flow of life.


And…Succos is almost here. It might just be my favorite Yom Tov. Listen to this shiur by Mrs. Shira Smiles – it will change your experience of sitting in the succah. One point she shares: Why don’t the ushpizin come to visit our homes on Pesach? Why only Succos? Because a house, no matter how Torah-oriented, imbibes the impurities it is exposed to, and the ushpizin are uncomfortable inside. But a succah is the shade of Hashem – and the walls of the succah are inherently holy. The air of the succah isΒ the air of Gan Eden. That’s why the ushpizin can visit us on Succos, and that’s why just sitting and breathing in the air of the succah is a spiritual experience that nurtures your neshama.


Do you decorate the succah? I don’t stand on ladders or wield the staple gun (my younger siblings do that) but I love choosing new decorations and watching them go up. If it’s been awhile since you’ve gotten involved, shopping for that one perfect decoration is an easy way to get into the spirit of Y”T.


Also, before I forget, I wanted to tell you about this newsletter that I’m subscribed to. I’ve really been enjoying it and deriving chizuk from it. The writer, Mrs. M’nucha Bialik, is giving a teleconference series (about shidduchim/dating) after Succos. This is not a paid ad or anything, but I’m looking forward to joining the conference and thought I’d share with anyone who might be interested.


Gmar tov to all of you and I’m hoping to be back here soon! Have a wonderful Y”T! How are you getting into the spirit?

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  1. s.

    I was just telling my mom that with my real life friends being married, I really rely on internet friends for support in this difficult time πŸ™‚ I def. find Yom Tov to be a hard time to be single as I’m sure we all do…That’s nice that you’re able to get into the spirit somewhat. One recently married friend just asked me “hey, how was rosh hashana?” I know she probably just meant it casually, but it was hard for me not to reply “you know, the usual, more 20 yr olds in shul with sheitals…” Not to mention the whole cramping for 3 days with parents, siblings, and in my case, a dog with a very high-pitched bark………
    Let’s just say next year I’m definitely going to my in-laws πŸ˜‰
    [b’ezras Hashem]

    • A Friend

      I definitely, completely feel you.
      Someone once pointed out to me that Y”T is really hard on anyone going through a challenge, whether singlehood, infertility, financial crisis…because Y”T is a marker of time’s passing, and it’s also an inescapable part of life when we’re confronted with the mismatch between what we think of as the way things should be and the way things actually are. When I see those 20-year-olds, or meet the classmate expecting her third child, or get redt to someone completely off the mark, I tell myself this: This pain is not for nothing. I might not feel up to facing another day, but this pain is not for nothing. It’s a kapparah for me, or maybe for others. It’s cleansing me, it’s making me stronger and deeper. And Hashem tests those He loves. So I know I am loved, and you are, too.
      Amen to going to your in-laws! They’ll be soo happy to have you, their delightful daughter-in-law.
      Also, oooh what kind of dog do you have?

  2. s.

    Yeah it’s tough. It’s a good point, about the milestones….very true…
    Another thought I had in shul was that ya know, the secular world prizes achievement, and many times it feels like b.c. I am not married, don’t have kids etc. I am not achieving as much as others my age. But this is Judaism people! Just because someone was handed her marriage partner on a silver platter, or was granted children easily, that does not mean she is better than me in any way. Ultimately, when we are standing there davening, we are all- them and us-being judged on the effort that we put in, and how much we have moved on the spiritual ladder-even in tiny increments – but NOT on the external results. So you very well may be on a higher level than your friend bringing her kids for shofar blowing who just snapped at her husband and forgot to say modeh ani, and is wearing something not so tzanua.. [all very likely to happen to me, just saying she is not necessarily holier than I am just because she’s married……which I tend to think…..]

  3. s.

    Oh and our dog is a ‘Swedish Valhund’ (looks kinda like a Corgi/mini version of a German Shepherd). The small ones bark the loudest……! [good to keep in mind when people criticize me] Wow, on a roll here with the deep thoughts…

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