Over and over, in the literature on happiness and resilience, I’ve noted these two suggestions:
We need things to look forward to.
We need things to work towards.
Having things on the calendar to look forward to boosts optimism. It helps us weather the rough days because we see brighter skies ahead.
Interestingly, the research shows that goal attainment often comes with a bit of a letdown. We are subject to the arrival fallacy – the belief that we will be permanently happy once we’ve achieved a desired end. The reality is that once we’ve achieved a goal, we tend to settle back to our happiness setpoint: the happiness level we usually hover at, which is mostly informed by our inborn tendencies and habits. (We can intervene quite a bit at the level of habit, and engage in activities and behaviors that raise our happiness setpoint). In other words, the part of goal pursuit that makes us feel the most positively is the pursuit. Which is why having something like a list of dreams can be so valuable. It gives us plenty of things to work towards.
As we settle into the part of winter that can start to feel bleak and endless, I’ve started to put more events and activities on my calendar to look forward to. This is making me feel genuinely happy about the upcoming weeks, even though teaching and writing (proposal) are starting to ramp up. And I’m also working towards several goals on and off my list for the year. I am hopeful that these strategies will help winter, and things in general, feel brighter.
P.S. The happiness literature has a variety of other valuable suggestions as well. One of the most significant is the value of social connection. Another is the habit of gratitude. But, I wanted to focus on the above two for this post, which seem to pair well as they both encourage a forward-looking perspective.
What are looking forward to? What are you working towards?
(Photo credit: David Bell/Pexels)
