It was recently brought to my attention that when Shakespeare wanted to end the action in his tragedies, the main character(s) died. When he wanted to end the action in his comedies, the main characters got married. Well, then.
Deep (not so deep) in my heart is a fear of becoming a boring suburban mom. On a lovely night in June, walking out after a Pride & Prejudice play, I remembered the advice of Cassie Holmes to think about how many more opportunities you’ll actually have to do something, and appreciate each opportunity to do the ordinary things that fill your current life. Therefore, I walked all the way to the train station, realizing that I may not have infinite opportunities to mosey along at my own pace down Madison Avenue on a warm night. Because one day, things will probably be different.
In my fantasies, I live in New York City or Yerushalayim, or maybe some other big city, where lots of places are easily accessible and life is interesting. Somehow, even with young children, in this fantasy I have the freedom and flexibility to be out and about, enjoying a stimulating everyday life.
I joke that visiting family in places like Toms River or New City, that are just so suburban, fills me with existential dread. So much yard (tedious), so much driving (terrifying), so little culture (sad).
But, recently, I wrote in my journal about how I could make suburban life work for me – if, let’s say, a nice fellow from Lakewood or some such place comes into my life. I really wanted to think this through, and help myself see how I can bloom anyplace I’m planted, with the right mindset and resources.
And here is what I came up with (the Lakewood edition, at least, and yes, I’m totally serious about having written this list lol):
- I have so many friends and family there. I can take advantage and see them more often than I do now.
- There are numerous restaurants. Lots of potential little adventures.
- There is a bus from Lakewood to Manhattan. The trip is under two hours.
- I can do a day in the city once a month or so, to go see an exhibit or a show or just walk around and feel like myself.
- Proximity to beaches. Definitely not something I have here. In the summer, there are fireworks at Point Pleasant.
- Relatedly, proximity to beach towns, like Ocean Grove, and also Long Branch, which has a beautiful beach and lots of kosher food.
- There is a theater in Red Bank that occasionally shows former Broadway shows (for example, they have a few showings of The Little Mermaid in February.)
- Ocean County Public Libraries look great. I can also keep using my other library cards on Kindle.
- Some museums and cultural institutions in New York offer webinars and virtual programming. I’ve taken advantage of this in the past and can do that wherever I live.
- Also, I can rent documentaries and other interesting things to watch in lieu of fancy official screenings.
- Uber exists, and so does hiring someone to help with the driving, if that’s what I need.
And…it could be…that a change of pace will be nice. I might even enjoy becoming a boring suburban mom.
Is any of this relatable to you? I’d love to hear how you think about this kind of thing.
(Photo credit: Robert So/Pexels)
