I know that my blog can be repetitive, especially with regard to ideas/advice/suggestions about how to feel happier. But this has been one of my proudest accomplishments of adulthood — learning how to feel happier. Why? Because happier people are nicer to be around, to work with, be friends with, and be married to. Happier people tend to be more patient, considerate, and generous. And happier people enjoy life more!
Much of the research on happiness, wellbeing, and flourishing confirms what we intuitively know, but it is still helpful to see what the research actually says and to pinpoint which habits and behaviors help us most. Raising positive emotions and lowering negative ones are actually two independent processes, and wellbeing requires both. This post is about raising positive emotions, but I have also written, and will write more in the future, about working with negative emotions, too (like worry, jealousy, and loneliness).
Here are many short ideas that are based on the research on happiness, flourishing, and wellbeing. I have come across all of them multiple times in various places. You don’t have to do everything all the time, but focusing on a few of these can make a big difference. You can put them to the test by trying them out and experimenting with how they make you feel. I hope this collection is helpful:
Invest in your relationships with family and friends. This does require time, planning, and maybe some money. Join them in activities they enjoy. Call them or meet up for lunch. Visit them. The research shows that frequency matters more than duration when it comes to spending time with loved ones.
Act the way you want to feel. It is relatively easy to become more agreeable if you act that way.
Be active physically and mentally. Arthur Brooks suggests reading for an hour a day and walking for an hour a day (!!) to accomplish this. (It occurs to me that this would be quite the 30-day challenge if you’re into that sort of thing.)
Regularly associate with other people, building social capital. We need friends and confidantes, but we also need acquaintances.
Spend money on saving time so you can do more things you enjoy and spend more time with other people.
Give in a way that matters to you. Even small amounts of money spent on generosity can greatly increase your happiness.
Protect the margin. Leave time for relaxation and enjoyable activities. Cut what you can and reduce stress.
Take care of your physical health. Go to the doctor and dentist regularly, get your sleep, get physical exercise (in addition to that walk).
Experience nature in some way, shape, or form on a regular basis. Sunlight, trees, birds, flowers, water…
Enjoy and savor small, frequent treats. Intersperse novelty (into this and other practices on this list).
Cultivate and nurture religious faith/emunah that can help you cope with and find meaning in the ups and downs of life.
Stay in your lane and appreciate what you have. If you can cultivate contentment (to need less than you have), you will have an enviable degree of happiness. Compare yourself to others in the right direction i.e. in ways that highlight and make you recognize and appreciate your good fortune.
“True happiness is when you stop asking what else you need to be happy.” So don’t try to be happy. Just try to be happier.
According to Arthur Brooks, to get happier, you need an integrated strategy: commit yourself to understanding happiness (whether psychologically, philosophically, or spiritually). Practice good happiness hygiene (i.e. the above strategies on a regular basis). And share your knowledge and progress with others (well, now, isn’t that what I do here).
Wishing you an easy fast if you are fasting, and a very happy Purim!
P.S. I wrote this post seven years ago! Where does time go??
(Photo credit: Tim Pasemann/Pexels)
