I recently made a mental switch that has made the research-and-decision process of shidduchim less emotionally fraught for me: I’ve named myself hiring manager of my dating life. When someone suggests a shidduch, my role is to decide whether or not to give that person an interview. This gives me more ease and clarity around the information I need and the decisions that make sense for me. It helps the process feel less personal and has kept me from getting vacuumed into yeses (or guilt around no’s) by my people-pleasing tendencies. Highly recommend this approach!
