Category: Relationships

A line from a poem in The Mother in Our Lives stayed with me:   “Let my heart be my womb.”  –from “A Childless Woman’s Song of Transcendence” by Bayla Berger

For a homework assignment in my therapeutic writing training, I had to summarize a study supporting the use of expressive writing for a specific issue. Since I am interested in how to use journaling to deal with burnout in shidduchim, I used an article on workplace burnout as a starting point. The writing protocol in the study required participants to …

A reader sent me a question about reaching a milestone (in this case, turning 26 and getting kicked off her parents’ health insurance) and feeling saddened about having to figure out what to do next without a husband to do it with.   Practicalities aside, these moments are hard because they highlight the contrast between where you thought you would …

Last week I had to make a difficult phone call for work to tell someone they could not participate in a program they wanted to join. I scripted out my spiel sentence by sentence, and it helped tremendously. I was able to sound clear and confident without being apologetic or defensive. One of my friends does this before every difficult …

I once heard from Rabbi Moshe Weinberger that every tzara is harder at night – “al mishkavi baleilos” (from Shir Hashirim). I experience this so much. I find that some nights are beyond painful and I feel completely despairing. It’s physical, blinding pain. The morning usually does bring at least a glimmer of new hope. And I can continue for …

Late last night, I had a faintly familiar craving. I headed downstairs through the quiet house to the den on the first floor. I sat on the couch and read picture books out loud to an empty room. Then I went back upstairs and went to sleep.

The mythic successful older single works full time (preferably with children, in a job she can do part-time one day iy”H very soon to work around her future children’s carpools), but manages to be super-involved in community projects. She gives rides for bikur cholim and does kiruv on the weekends. She puts away 90% of her salary since she is …

I am amazed at the resilience of the human spirit. So many times, I have been sure there is no point in trying anymore. And I even promise myself I won’t make myself try anymore and spare myself the pain and the rollercoaster. Then a new day begins, a new song plays, and again I know and believe that everything …