At one point a few years ago, I gave myself a “shidduchim bedtime.” I had to stop thinking about shidduchim, checking WhatsApp and email, and waiting to hear back from people by 10:45 PM (the end of the civilized evening). Otherwise I’d compulsively check my phone just one more time as I got ready for a shower, got ready for …
When we (as a community) talk about “older singles,” we talk about statistics and we talk about self-sabotage. And that is all we talk about. Whether there is any constructive purpose to these conversations is up for discussion. I’m not weighing in now, but I am saying that, at minimum, I don’t think this is all that the conversation …
Recently I listened to an episode of the Headlines podcast on “What makes a successful marriage?” Chani Juravel (at 39:00) shared four qualities she heard from Dr. David Pelcovitz that are important for a good marriage (a few readers have asked for posts on ways to develop yourself into the best you before marriage, and I hope this is helpful!). …
My friend sent me a letter to the editor (“Far From Miserable”) that was written in response to the fish tank story in Mishpacha. It did not sit well with her and once I read it I felt the same. Before I continue I just want to emphasize that I don’t presume to speak for everyone who is single …
So the other night my friend asked me if I read “All the Fish in the Sea” by Rochel Samet (printed in the Pesach Calligraphy), and if so what were my thoughts. I did read it and I did have thoughts. Some lines resonated very much: “The problem with being single,” Meira says sagely, “is that no matter what …
In the support group this week we talked about asking for support from family and friends. One group member shared that she doesn’t want to be a burden so she tells everyone she’s fine. Another shared that what got her through the most serious period of her illness was other people’s love. She added, “You can complain to people who …
I’m currently taking a course on writing as a mindfulness practice through the Therapeutic Writing Institute. One of the exercises we did was to consider in what ways we define ourselves or defend our “personal territory,” and explore a more fluid and open way of viewing what we consider to be “us.” I thought this was an interesting exercise both …
So I mentioned last week that I’ll be be”H enrolling in a PhD program (it feels weird to write that), and for fun I’ve been reading people’s CVs. A CV (curriculum vitae) is like a super-detailed work resume that lists all sorts of professional achievements like every article, interview, and presentation. I joked with a friend that we shouldn’t send …
Just dropping some more chizuk here — two of my friends’ sisters in their upper 30’s just got engaged. They were on my challah list for the past year and a half, and now I can never rewrite that list onto a fresh piece of paper because nothing makes me as happy as seeing a line through their names! And …
I just want to drop a little chizuk here. One of my cousins struggled a lot with shidduchim like I do. Thinking she must be too sensitive, too picky, too needy, too something. It was after one of our conversations that I wrote the article about being an HSP in shidduchim, based on what we talked about. Then she met …
