The week before last, I spent a bit of time with my grandmother at my aunt’s house (watching “The Band Man”). This is the grandmother I visited for a few days in July (my other grandmother, lehavdil, passed away two and a half years ago).
I give my grandmother a lot of credit for not making me feel uncomfortable about being single. I know in some families the dynamic is different and I’m grateful to feel accepted for who I am right now. But I still wonder and worry a little about not giving her the nachas she must really want. She is also my only living grandparent (until 120 iyH…), and I want her to see me married.
I need to keep accepting the reality that I can’t speed this up, even while feeling this time pressure. It’s another one of those parts of life that has me living in the gray, just holding the tension between what is right now and what I want.
I wonder if you are in a similar situation with similar feelings.
Wishing you a beautiful day.
(Photo credit: Kseniya Buraya/Pexels)
Or perhaps she already is getting much nachas from you right now. You’re a wonderful whole person.
I think she is! (If I may say so) – I just know that it also weighs on her that I’m still not married…
I really relate. One of the hardest parts of losing my grandparent and great-grandparent was the knowledge that I wouldn’t be able to introduce them to my chasan.
❤️