I recently read Wired for Love, by Dr. Stephanie Cacioppo, a neuroscientist who studies love (and who was married to a neuroscientist who studied loneliness, mentioned here). Dr. Cacioppo’s suggestions for dealing with loneliness spell the acronym “GRACE.”
Gratitude. If you are feeling lonely, you are probably having a hard time appreciating your lot in life as well. Research shows that simple gratitude practices like writing down a short list of things you are grateful for each day increases subjective wellbeing and decreases loneliness.
Reciprocity. Dr. Barbara Frederickson suggests cultivating “micro-moments” to connect in small ways with other people, whether friends, family members, or strangers. Connection and feeling depended on, respected, or appreciated can increase feelings of self-worth.
Altruism. Helping others gives you a feeling of self-expansion similar to what people experience in a close relationship. Making a time commitment to help out a regular part of your life vs. engaging in it sporadically makes a greater difference. Research shows that women who were widowed, who engaged in at least 2 hours of weekly volunteering, reduced their feelings of loneliness to the same level as the married women in the sample.
Choice. Choosing a mindset can make a bigger difference to feelings of loneliness than increasing social contact. Research shows that people who reframed isolation as solitude felt significantly less bored and lonely.
Enjoyment. Make it a point to enjoy your life. Enjoyment is a predictor of wellbeing and life satisfaction. Find ways to capitalize on the things that are going right, and to have fun!
(Photo credit: Corneliu Stefan Esanu/Pexels)
