In this winding story, there are many chapters. The past year or two have, for me, been largely about fully embracing, accepting, and dare I say, enjoying who I am. We all know on an intellectual level that the first step towards having a loving relationship with another is to love yourself. I have been working towards experiencing this feeling on an emotional level. Over the years, I’ve learned my strengths, and found many ways to enjoy my own company. I’ve started to recognize and be proud of the things I do that are harder for me, or that are an authentic expression of who I am. And, loving myself also includes accepting the parts of me that are a little harder to live with, like anxiety about driving, or discomfort with taking care of other people’s kids. I’d love to feel able to do everything expected of an adult, with ease, but that isn’t the reality.
Recently, I realized that I am no longer ashamed of those parts of myself, the places I struggle, and I don’t need to hide them. They are what they are. This was a quiet but qualitative shift — I realized that at last, I expect to be loved as I am.
(Photo credit: Engin Akyurt/Pexels)
