What’s it like being a single woman in an apartment over Shabbos or Yom Tov? Since I moved at the height of COVID, my roommates and I made many, many Shabbos meals together before we could start going out for meals. Some of us have also done a bit of Y”T in the apartment. Here are some things I learned.
Shabbos In
We have a white tablecloth, challah board, challah cover, kiddush cup, salt shaker, and nice paper goods in the apartment. We try to remember to always have a bottle of grape juice, plastic tablecloths and tea lights in the apartment.
If more than one person wants to stay in, we divide up the menu and decide what everyone makes/buys. Everyone writes down shared expenses on our spreadsheet. We have a small Crock-Pot for the weeks when people are in for the Shabbos day meal. We used it a ton during our COVID days but not so much recently.
We made a list of Erev Shabbos jobs and divided them up: setting the table, taking out the last bag of garbage, setting up the urn, turning off the hot water under the sink, opening boxes of tissues, heating the food.
For candle lighting, I was told that one person in the apartment should light and we can all chip in for tealights.
We usually heat up our food right before Shabbos and then eat pretty soon after candle lighting (maybe within 30-40 minutes?). We only used a blech once over a Y”T. We have a nice seudah. We sing Shalom Aleichem and Eishes Chayil, someone makes kiddush, someone else says hamotzi, and sometimes we sing or say divrei Torah before we spend the rest of the night talking about shidduchim.
Sometimes we are in for Friday night and out for Shabbos day (usually not vice versa because it’s obviously easier to go places by day).
For havdalah we generally go to a neighbor although we were told it’s not actually an issue for a woman to make havdalah. Ask your own shaila though.
We try to not rely too much on each other for Shabbos plans because everyone has to do what works for them.
Shabbos Out
If everyone is out, the last person to leave sets the lights and turns off the air conditioner/turns down the thermostat.
Shabbos and Yom Tov packing list
- Shabbos outfit(s)
- shells
- tights
- pajamas
- socks
- underwear/bras
- robe/maxi dress
- sweatshirt and skirt to leave your room in your pj’s
- jewelry
- lenses
- glasses/glasses case
- Shabbos shoes
- slippers
- clothes and shoes for Motzoei Shabbos and Sunday
- deodorant
- makeup
- toothbrush/toothpaste/floss
- mouthwash
- hairbrush
- shampoo/conditioner/body wash
- moisturizer
- dry shampoo
- pads/tampons
- laundry bag
- reading material
- siddur/Tehillim/machzor
- phone charger
- hostess gift
- rain jacket
- work stuff
- journal and pen
- special foods you need
- cash/checkbook
Yom Kippur
At least some of us have stayed in for Yom Kippur and had our seudah hamafsekes and break-fast here. In a way it’s easier that going somewhere.
Chanukah
We covered a folding table with foil for our menorahs. I think we tried to light together as much as possible but work schedules didn’t always allow. One night we made latkes and one night I made poutine because it’s super-greasy.
Pesach
We Pesach-cleaned so that we could come back to our apartment for Chol Hamoed. It was a big job but manageable. We made a list for each room of every job that had to be done and divided up the jobs. We covered over and sold almost everything in our kitchen; we basically just had a mini fridge and our dining room table for food. This wasn’t the greatest plan because I didn’t end up eating very much on Chol Hamoed so this year if I’m here for Pesach I’m going to make sure to have more real food. Maybe I’ll cook at my parents and bring it back here.
Do you have any questions I can answer about Shabbos and Yom Tov in an apartment?
