My mother’s friend called her for advice for her friend who has four daughters in shidduchim. Since my mother has had various numbers of daughters in shidduchim for varying lengths of time, this woman thought my mother might have some insight into what her friend could “do differently” to help her daughters get married. My mother and I spoke afterwards …
Going down one of my rabbit holes on singlehood in the frum community, I came upon this article: “Best Practices for the Inclusion of Singles in Our Communities.” Love it and agree with every word! Would be nice to see something like this coming from the charedi corner, too, ngl. Let me know what you think!
Dear everyone who wants to redt a shidduch, That’s very nice of you. Please, when you email or text someone for their shidduch resume, remember to introduce yourself (unless you are in touch on a regular basis), provide some background/context (such as how you got their contact information, or why you thought of them), and let them know where …
I read a beautiful idea in Mary Pipher’s book Women Rowing North. When you are struggling with sadness or loneliness or hopelessness about the future, look around you for evidence of love in the world. I find amazing evidence of love all that time through my job. I work with people dealing with serious illness, and I hear stories about “ordinary” …
I have a file that I add to anytime I come across an interesting article, website, person, etc that relates to one of the topics I may write about. Of course I have many references to shidduchim/singlehood. Recently I came across an amazing study which was also written about in this op-ed:
Recently I finished another course in my therapeutic writing training, and I found the exercises to be particularly deep and moving. For one of the exercises we had to make a list of intersections in our lives, moments when we chose to go in one direction and not another. Then we explored one of those intersections more in depth and …
A couple weeks ago someone sent me a resume (and picture) and asked what I thought of the idea for me. It always makes me feel a little bad and sad to say no (but I do it). I looked at the picture and I thought how painful it is that innocent people need to be judged all the time …
I would like to create an art installation made entirely of shidduch resumes. A huge room lined wall to wall and floor to ceiling with shidduch resumes framed in gold. A juxtaposition of the casualness with which we treat the resume against the deference it truly deserves. No talking in the gallery, please. Silent respect.
Have you ever read A Wrinkle in Time, by Madeleine L’engle? It was one of my favorite books growing up. But one thing in particular struck me when I picked it up recently. Mrs. Murry, mother of Meg, the twins, and Charles Wallace, is a microbiologist. She has two doctorates, in biology and bacteriology. And she is called “Mrs.”! It’s …
Shidduchim requires us to hold an amazing paradox: there is so much we can do — an endless number of things — and there is nothing we can do. The Brisker Rav famously said that hishtadlus in shidduchim is unnecessary, and it is permitted for our nerves. There will always be more hishtadlus we can think of, yet we know …
