Relationships are developed through communication, the more honest and authentic, the better. Sometimes when we’re in a dating relationship, though, it’s hard to communicate with confidence, and we fall into a dance of uncertainty: What should I bring up, and when and how, and how can I ask without really asking, and hopefully the conversation will just go there, and …
Ahh, good old female friendship. It’s what keeps us going through the ups and downs of work, family, school, and of course, shidduchim. But as adults, our situations may be somewhat transient, as friends get married and move away (or we do!), jobs change, graduations happen…and every so often, a new friend or two is in order. A reader posed …
At a shalosh seudos this past Shabbos, someone (who knows I have Many Opinions on Things) exclaimed, “You have to read the Open Mic article from this week’s Mishpacha!” Immediately, some others at the table began protesting that I’d only find it upsetting. So I insisted on reading it, of course. To summarize, the author writes that just as …
In tenth grade I wrote a ten page research paper on Winston Churchill. The man was a terrific orator, and one of the best parts of having to research his life was reading through pages of quotes from his speeches and personal interactions. I still love me a Churchill zinger. Naturally, he had plenty to say about shidduchim: First …
I transcribed a recent conversation between me and a married friend (minimal poetic license taken) because it really helped me think about things in a new way, and maybe others will find it helpful, too: Me: So…what are you tips on not becoming cynical and jaded? Which is what I’m becoming. Her: About what? Me: About shidduchim. Nothing means …
Yom Tov is the time for davening, divrei Torah, eating, schmoozing, catching up with friends and family, eating, reading (books over magazines, forever and always), also eating…These are a few ideas I learned or thought about over the past few weeks that I’d love to share (and all shidduchim-related in some way, but don’t worry, they’re just kind of nice, …
A few years ago, a very well-meaning aunt sent the following segulah to my mother: On Motzoei Shabbos, one should wash for melava malka, tell a story of the Baal Shem Tov (which was included) and bentch without talking about anything else. One should follow this sequence for six consecutive weeks and will (iy”H) meet their zivug in short order. …
This post was inspired by Chavi, who commented on a previous post. She raised a question — thank you very much for being honest and asking it — that resonated with me and I’m sure many people: How do you know that you’re doing your part in helping yourself get married? How do you know whether you’ve turned down people …
I’m learning to mute the cacophony of accusatory voices, the ones that insist that anyone in shidduchim for a length of time must be making poor decisions, or is picky or unreasonable or impossible to please. I’m learning to stop taking responsibility when things don’t work out, or when I have to say no, or when I end up in …
I get a bit startled when the calendar hits Tu B’Av and I’m not married. I guess it’s one of those markers of time. I decided a few years ago that when I get married, I will commemorate Tu B’Av each year as a special day (why not 🙂 ). There is a source for this that I read in …
