Happily

My friend sent me an excerpt from “Risk Factor” by Rabbi Yosef Bensoussan, which appeared in the February 5th edition of Mishpacha. I thought it was amazing, just reading it gave me the chills:

 

Quiet. Then sniffling. Then tears. A lot of tears.

“It’s so much pressure!” she yelled. “Everyone keeps asking why I’m not married yet. It’s like I’m worthless because I’m single.” She was choking on the words.

Tell her to be happy while she waits, my son had said.

“You said you were depressed. What do you think would make you happier?” 

“Getting married.”

“That makes sense. I mean, every married person I know is completely happy and content.”

She didn’t react, so I said, “I’m kidding. You need to be happy no matter what your external circumstances are. If you just wait around for a spouse to come and deliver happiness to you, you’ll never achieve it.”

“I thought all my problems are because I’m single.” She said it slowly, like she was rethinking it.

“No, your challenges right now are because you think your problems stem from being single. I can’t change what the world tells you. But you cannot believe your life is worthless because you’re not married.”

She was quiet, like she wasn’t sure she could believe me. 

“You have a right to be happy right now. You have a right to enjoy your life while you’re still single. Don’t let anyone make you feel unworthy because you’re not married. Wait for the right one. And work on your own inner happiness. It will make your marriage much better.”

A few months later I got an email from Rochel. The subject line read Good news. Wow, was she–

I clicked it open.

Dear Rabbi, it read. Thanks so much for the help and direction you gave me when I was feeling so depressed. I wanted to let you know that I thought a lot about what you said and I really tried to work on it. It’s four months later and I wanted to let you know…baruch Hashem, I’m happily unmarried.

 

Chills, right? Someone really gets it.