Five and a half years ago, my baby sister was getting engaged to her husband. This was one of the hardest periods of my life. I had supportive friends who were (and are) amazing, but no one could pull me out of the whirlpool of difficult emotions that I was caught in. I felt jealous, alone, angry, and really scared.
Paradoxically, what has made it easier for me to navigate conversations about possible shidduch suggestions is to feel more compassion for the people being spoken about. I used to feel very anxious about talking about shidduchim to the point that I did not appreciate shidduch suggestions. I know I’m definitely not alone in this, I’ve had conversations about this with …
I listened to an interview with the author of Setting Boundaries That Stick and one point really made me think.
I wrote this post four years ago about how uncomfortable it is to have to answer the question, “What are you looking for?” In the post, I wrote that it is hard to come up with a description that is authentic and specific and not subject to misinterpretation, and then to have to give it over all the time. It …
This article from Ingrid Fetell Lee was right up my alley (she also wrote this one). In it, she writes about the three things that helped her when she was single (before marrying in her 30’s):
Over the years, I’ve taken a fair number of courses and workshops and listened to speeches and read books about shidduchim. And of course gotten lots and lots of advice (mostly unsolicited). I’ve heard my share of “What do you have to do to be married in six months?” and “You just have to decide that you’re going to give …
I’m struggling with tefillah, both the formal davening-from-a-siddur kind, and the emotional asking-Hashem-for-my-deepest-needs kind. The only kind of tefillah that feels doable and available to me is the informal talking-to-Hashem-briefly-throughout-the-day-mostly-to-say-thank-You kind. My friend says this is very natural as this is what happens after years of davening for something and hearing no. It gets discouraging. It gets frustrating. It burns …
If anyone had told me ten years ago what the next ten years would look like, I would have never, ever believed that I could make it through them. I guess it’s good that we don’t get told these things!
Last week I had a conversation with a friend that I’ve had many times before, about my existential crisis: “I feel unsatisfied and that I need to be doing more…What is my purpose?” She pointed out that we’ve had this conversation on a recurrent basis every few months for about ten years and the solutions I turn to (more work, …
A friend and I were joking about reassigning “do-gooders” to other projects so they don’t keep trying to help us. (You know, the ones who tell you, unsolicited, to take a better picture or add references to your resume). Aren’t there so many worthy projects for them to choose from? Like…
