A friend recently sent me an article about “glimmers” which are the opposite of “triggers.” Triggers activate our fight/flight/freeze responses, but glimmers activate our sense of safety and connection. This is a concept from Deb Dana, LCSW, who is an expert in polyvagal theory, an approach to understanding and healing trauma. Glimmers are found in small moments and reminders of …
One of my very favorite books is Emily of Deep Valley by Maud Hart Lovelace, set in 1912 Minnesota. Emily has just graduated from high school, and unlike all her college-bound friends, she is staying home to care for her grandfather who raised her. As fall turns to winter, Emily is depressed and lonely. She feels stuck, watching everyone else …
Hello, all. Last week I went away for a few days to my sister in Toms River. The idea was that I would use her pool every day but of course I didn’t use it once (lol). I went to my sister for vacation because I didn’t really know what to do with myself this summer but I knew …
Hi all, I’ll be going to my sister in Toms River for a few days and basically sitting by her pool. This is my low-key summer vacation — I’m hoping to see some friends too and go out to eat a bit. Also — I’m downloading the audio of The Fellowship of the Ring. Finally! I hope to …
Recently I’ve been realizing that what I really need — maybe what we all really need — is emotional support, validation, and nurturing, not more and more and more advice about how to get married. I’m realizing that no one knows the secret, even wonderful and wise people. I’m realizing that no one has discovered the formula, even people who …
If you go to an art museum this Chol Hamoed, here is an article to read before you go. (I am a fan of art museum therapy as a thing.) You can buy one or two postcards at the gift shop and save them for after Y”T when you can journal, and write about them. Ekphrastic writing is writing …
A friend shared a visual with me a few years ago that helped me see anger in a new and less stigmatizing way. Anger is like a suit of armor that shields you from experiencing softer and more painful emotions like sadness, grief, and disappointment. Anger is like the tip of an iceberg. When you look beneath the surface, you …
In my imagination, there is a place I can go when I am dating someone and feeling stressed out. It’s a large inn where I can move in and rest and relax, to be nurtured and pampered. My room has a big cozy bed with fluffy pillows and blankets, a fireplace, and a deep squashy armchair for reading. The windows …
A few years ago I learned of the concept of the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) by Dr. Elaine Aron. The concept resonated with me so I took the quiz which confirmed that I am an HSP. According to Dr. Aron’s research, HSPs comprise about 20% of the population. HSPs have heightened sensitivity to subtleties and nuances as well as …
Julia Cameron, author of The Artist’s Way, assigns a weekly “Artist Date” to her creativity students. An Artist Date is a solo trip to a place that interests you, sparks your creativity, or encourages play. This post has some great ideas that can work for one person. Here are some additional ideas: farmer’s market florist zoo aquarium train station …
