Is there anyone that you have difficulty forgiving, year after year? I have two people in mind, and both experiences with them were shidduch-related. Although I understand that it is a big zechus to let go and forgive, I cannot seem to do it. When I think about these experiences, I have a physiological reaction. I still cry about how hurtfully they spoke to me. I will not bring it up to them because I don’t believe they will apologize — they might even double down — and it would hurt me more. If I tried to talk myself into some level of forgiveness, it would just feel fake.
I know that only Hashem decides how much pain we will endure, but these two people definitely chose to be His messengers.
So I ask…What do you say? Am I misunderstanding forgiveness? How do I carry into Yom Kippur what I will not forgive?
