A thought occurred to me over vacation (long car ride, many thoughts). 🙂
How do we maintain perspective and see our lives with a broad lens when it’s so natural to focus on the things we don’t have?
Maybe we can learn this balance from tefillah. A complete formulation of tefillah includes shevach, hoda’ah, and bakasha — praise, thanks, and supplication. Tefillah isn’t only formal prayer but the way we relate to Hashem on an intimate level throughout the day. As we go through any experience, we can hold onto all three aspects of tefillah as they relate to our lives: “Hashem, You are so powerful and made such an incredible world. Thank You for allowing me to be safe/healthy/have loving family and friends. Please let me serve You even better by making my dream come true.”
We don’t have to choose between giving up on something and having that something be the only thing on our mind. (This is a very difficult balance to strike, for sure). But the feeling of longing is one part of a three-way balance that lets us live a more complete and healthy life. If we can experience the shevach and hoda’ah, the sense that life in general is full of wonder and that our individual lives are blessed, then we will not be defined solely by our bakasha for things to change.