A few weeks ago, I came home from (another) disappointing date and felt utterly drained and completely out of options. I called a friend, who stayed on the phone with me for an hour while I cried. She told me, “The only thing to do is not give up. We are not in control of what happens when. But we do not give up and Hashem does not give up. When it happens, what will matter is what you did with this time. That’s all you can choose.”
At my sister’s wedding, I observed my cousin who got married in her upper 30’s. I watched her watch her three little kids. There was a time, I’m sure, when many people thought it out of the realm of possibility for such a thing to happen for her. But she got married. She has a family. And so will you.
Nachshon ben Aminadav stepped off the shore of the Yam Suf and walked forward until he was up to his neck in water. We like to think about what came next – kriyas Yam Suf – and link the two in a cause-effect relationship: push yourself out of your comfort zone and miracles will follow.
But miracles are none of our business. Nachshon ben Aminadav did not step into the Yam Suf because he knew a miracle would happen. If Bnei Yisroel knew a miracle would happen, there would have been no nisayon. He stepped into the sea because that was the next right thing to do.
Every attempt, every day, every experience brings you closer to, not further from, the end of this chapter and the beginning of the next. You just have to keep going.
My aunt told me something at Shabbos Sheva Brachos from Rabbi Moshe Weinberger: A Jewish beggar told a non-Jewish beggar, “If you want a really good meal, get yourself invited to a seder. They’ll serve a feast!” The beggar passed himself off as a poor Jew and found himself at a seder table. After washing his hands, he sat expectantly, waiting for trays of delicacies to be brought from the kitchen. Instead, a bowl of boiled potatoes and a dish of saltwater were set out. Disappointed, he continued waiting for the real meal. But after a long service, all he got was some crackers and lettuce. Disgusted, he left the house. The next day, his Jewish friend asked, “So, how was your meal last night?” “They didn’t serve me anything good to eat!” the man complained. “Why did you try and fool me?” “I don’t believe it!” the friend exclaimed, “You gave up right before the good part!”
We take steps because that is our job. We keep going because we were made to keep going.
One more note that I heard from Rabbi Wallerstein: Hashem appeared to Moshe Rabbeinu at the burning bush and told him, “Look at the staff in your hand.” Look at it and know that you are a staff in My hand. You are not the one who will bring Bnei Yisroel out of Mitzrayim. I’m the One. You have a job to do, but know that, ultimately, results are up to Me.
On Pesach, let’s allow this knowledge to wash over us and let’s drop all responsibility for results into Hashem’s Lap. May we have the strength to keep taking one step at a time into the sea, and may our trust and menuchas hanefesh be a tremendous zechus.
