Over the past few years (I haven’t checked when this trend started actually), I’ve written less about shidduchim and more about other aspects of (my) life. Readers have noticed and there have been requests to bring back more shidduchim content, which I completely understand. I’ve made a few attempts to deliver but the inner resistance has been strong. I have realized that the truth is that it is too painful for me.
Recently I told my dating mentor, M’nucha Bialik, that when I’m not thinking about shidduchim, I’m fine. When I am thinking about it, I’m not fine. I start to get pulled under by feelings like helplessness and anger. I need to put it aside in a box. I do the occasional requisite hishtadlus, but only in ways that feel very aligned with what I want to do, so they don’t make me feel worse.
I need to be honest – I don’t see myself writing about this topic much in the future until I am well and truly healed. (Ironically, I am writing about “older singlehood” for my dissertation but that feels different, more academic which creates a distance). And I am sorry to not be able to deliver this right now.
I do hope that reading about the other parts of life can be helpful too, and I appreciate your being here!
I love how you allow the blog to grow and change naturally as you go along. I miss hearing your take on shidduchim but I understand where you are coming from, and I’d rather read an authentic blog post than a scripted thought on shidduchim. There’s a lot more to life than dating and I enjoy the window you share with us here
Thank you very much for your kind words! I appreciate your taking the time to comment!