How Journaling Helps Me With Shidduchim

I write in my journal almost every day. Sometimes I write a few paragraphs and sometimes I write more than five pages. I write about anything that comes to mind — stuff going on in my life, creative ideas, to-do lists…Sometimes I reread what I write and sometimes I don’t. I try to keep to it regularly even when I’m not so in the mood because I want it to be a lasting habit. Since I started journaling almost two years ago, I have become a die-hard fan/spokesperson for journaling because I see the positive changes it has brought into my life. I can work through things and see new possibilities for my life by writing about them. I have a much closer relationship with different parts of myself because I’m able to write about them and not try to hide anything.

 

There are a few ways that journaling has helped me with shidduchim:

 

  1. The most obvious one: for stress relief. Because free-writing about anything is so relaxing and enjoyable. I have read journaling books and have even taken journaling courses because writing is such a pleasurable outlet for me.

 

2. For processing information from shidduch research, or processing after a date. When I write about it I can figure out, what do I know or not know? How am I feeling? What assumptions am I making? What am I still figuring out?

 

3. For support. I have written supportive letters to myself before I go out to read when I come home. I find that to be really helpful. You can get through anything if you have someone standing by you through the confusion or disappointment. Even if that person is yourself.

 

4. For keeping the faith. One night after a date I was really upset (okay, this didn’t just happen once). I was afraid of just getting totally burnt-out and giving up…so I wrote a letter to my chosson. You can write one to him wherever he is right now or write it as if you already found him.

 

5. For clarifying and understanding my feelings. If I said no to someone, I like to write about why. It’s helpful to have something to look back on later if I get confused or feel like running back to someone who wasn’t right. Similarly, if I like someone, it’s helpful to clarify why, especially if they didn’t necessarily come in a package I expected, so I can see over time what really resonates and matters most.

 

Hope these ideas are helpful! Keep journaling! 🙂

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