Recently, I started working with a life coach. I was feeling a bit restless and frustrated, but didn’t think the issue needed to be addressed with a therapist. I just wanted support in identifying and moving towards the “next step,” whatever that might look like for me.
I’ve been really happy with our work together. We started out focusing on work-related issues, but have gone deeper into some of the underlying feelings and needs that I haven’t unpacked in awhile. I can’t say that I’ve made specific changes so much as having had mindset shifts and an overall feeling of lightening up — not simply living in rumination cycles in my head.
I recently expressed frustration to her that I can’t believe after ALL the work of the past decade-plus, I am STILL doing work for shidduchim. I expressed feeling that it just isn’t fair — why is this part of life such a nisayon for me when it comes so easily to others?
My life coach pointed out that as long as we are alive, we have some kind of work to do. I am 34, and iy”H have a ways to go until 120. In this season of my life, this is my work. If it wasn’t this, it would be something else. There is always work to be done.
It really helped me to hear that. It helped me remember that this struggle is not a reflection of my efforts or worth. It is the work I need to do now. And I need to do what I can as it presents itself, and entrust the outcomes to Hashem. Even after all this time.
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