I learned a great line from a client: We don’t shop for oranges at the hardware store.
In other words, we need to have realistic expectations of other people based on how we know them. Specifically, many people are uncomfortable with emotion and offering nonjudgmental support. Some people aren’t good listeners and tend to turn the conversation towards themselves. Others can’t resist the impulse to jump in with advice.
When you are going through a hard time, these behaviors can feel very painful and upsetting, especially when they come from loved ones. I find this myself, and since my client shared that line with me (that her previous therapist used), I’ve been repeating it to myself.
People are who they are. When we know that, we can find the right ones to turn to for emotional support, and stop shopping for oranges at the hardware store.
(Photo credit: Elizaveta Mitenkova/Pexels)
