On Joy vs. Happiness

I read the following in Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories That Heal, by Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen:

 

I had thought joy to be rather synonymous with happiness, but it seems now [after having worked with many seriously ill patients] to be far less vulnerable than happiness. Joy seems to be part of an unconditional wish to live, not holding back because life may not meet our preferences and expectations. Joy seems to function of the willingness to accept the whole, and to show up to meet with whatever is there. It has a kind of invincibility that attachment to any particular outcome would deny us.

 

How beautiful is that? Joy is like a flower poking through a crack in the walkway. It persists despite the circumstances.

 

I listened to a podcast episode with Ingrid Fetell Lee, author of Joyful: The Surprising Power of Ordinary Things to Create Extraordinary Joy. I loved her conceptualization of joy as something that is more accessible and attainable than happiness. While the pursuit of happiness can feel daunting, joy can be found in the smallest of things. And the more you find joy, the happier you will feel over time! I shared this concept in a support group I co-facilitated at my internship and the members of the group shared the small things that brought them joy despite not being able to change their challenging situation:

choosing a new bottle of nail polish at the drug store

taking a trivia quiz in the newspaper

getting a book from Amazon in the mail

 

I was reminded of the classic vort about the spices in the caravan of the Yishmaelim who brought Yosef down to Mitzrayim. Rashi says that there were spices in the caravan instead of the usual tar and petroleum so that Yosef Hatzaddik wouldn’t have to smell a bad odor. The question is, did it really matter at that point what Yosef would have to smell? He was going down to Mitzrayim as a slave! One answer is that this was a sign for Yosef that Hashem had not abandoned him, and even though he was suffering, Hashem was still with him, sending him small gifts along the way to remind Yosef of His presence.

 

The same is true in our lives. The small moments of joy — discovering a bright mural painted in an alleyway, walking into a store and hearing the same song that was just playing in your head, hitting a string of green lights — are small gifts from Hashem to remind us of His presence. The more moments of joy we spot, the more they will reinforce each other and nurture a deeper, more lasting happiness.

 

P.S. This validating article brought me joy.