Every year before Rosh Hashanah, it helps me to remind myself that it’s about crowning Hashem King, not about shopping for my desires in the coming year. Crowning Him means that I understand He is King of the world, in a grand sense, but also King over me, in a personal sense, my outer and inner worlds and all the …
A few years ago, a very well-meaning aunt sent the following segulah to my mother: On Motzoei Shabbos, one should wash for melava malka, tell a story of the Baal Shem Tov (which was included) and bentch without talking about anything else. One should follow this sequence for six consecutive weeks and will (iy”H) meet their zivug in short order. …
I like to use WhatsApp for the convenience, but waiting for those double blue checks to appear can become addictive, especially when I really want to hear back from someone. A few weeks ago, I made one small change that’s made a huge difference — turning off read receipts (no blue checks for either me or the person I’m messaging). …
I’m going through an exercise from Rabbi Nivin’s Elul workshop that’s been interesting and helpful. It’s a year-in-review writing exercise that covers different areas of your life. Basically, you go through different topics and write about what worked and didn’t work this year. The idea is to scan backwards over the past year and just write whatever comes to mind, …
I went to E”Y for a week in August. Originally I had no plans to go away this summer but as it sometimes happens with trips to E”Y, one day I realized that I just needed to go, and I bought a ticket the next day. I went (as usual) without anything on schedule and just a few tentative …
This post was inspired by Chavi, who commented on a previous post. She raised a question — thank you very much for being honest and asking it — that resonated with me and I’m sure many people: How do you know that you’re doing your part in helping yourself get married? How do you know whether you’ve turned down people …
It’s Elul. Wow. I’m signed up for two personal development courses for Elul. The first is Rabbi Aryeh Nivin’s Elul Chaburah, which is a short series of classes on taking stock and setting goals for the coming year. I actually did this Elul course three years ago and it was incredible. It costs $1 (but you have to cancel …
I’m learning to mute the cacophony of accusatory voices, the ones that insist that anyone in shidduchim for a length of time must be making poor decisions, or is picky or unreasonable or impossible to please. I’m learning to stop taking responsibility when things don’t work out, or when I have to say no, or when I end up in …
I get a bit startled when the calendar hits Tu B’Av and I’m not married. I guess it’s one of those markers of time. I decided a few years ago that when I get married, I will commemorate Tu B’Av each year as a special day (why not 🙂 ). There is a source for this that I read in …
I just joined an easy learning program that I have been gaining a lot from. Each week, I get a recording of a short class on Chovos HaLevavos Shaar HaBitachon, given by Mrs. M’nucha Bialik, a dating coach in Ramat Beit Shemesh (and a very dear mentor). The classes are about 15-20 minutes long. Mrs. Bialik started this program after …
