The human mind has a tendency to think in two specific ways that do a lot to undermine our happiness. (This means that if we start to notice them, and find alternative ways of thinking, we can do a lot to climb out of an unhappy hole):
- Comparisons – comparing ourselves to other people in any domain.
- Counterfactual thinking – replaying and trying to change the past with “could’ve,” “would’ve” should’ve”‘s.
These kinds of thoughts can trigger emotions like anger, jealousy, and shame. They make us turn on ourselves with self-criticism, and find it harder to appreciate and enjoy what we have.
Everyone struggles with comparison and counterfactual thinking, but we can help ourselves through these difficult moments with love and self-compassion, and by remembering, as best we can, that Hashem truly runs the world. Even when it is painful, we are exactly who we need to be and where we need to be right now.
I hope this little tidbit can be helpful to you! Wishing you a peaceful day!
(Photo credit: Markus Spiske/Pexels)
