How To Make Friends As an Adult

Ahh, good old female friendship. It’s what keeps us going through the ups and downs of work, family, school, and of course, shidduchim. But as adults, our situations may be somewhat transient, as friends get married and move away (or we do!), jobs change, graduations happen…and every so often, a new friend or two is in order. A reader posed the following question: how to go about meeting and making new friends at this stage?

 

Some suggestions for meeting new people…

Old friends can connect you with new ones, by introducing you to their new friends or acquaintances.

Find or organize a networking group for local singles using WhatsApp or a texting group. Then propose you do stuff together.

Invite someone to join in a new hobby, like ballet lessons.

Find a walking buddy.

Volunteer for a local organization like bikur cholim or tomchei Shabbos.

Say yes to get-togethers like birthday parties or shiurim. Or organize them yourself.

Expand your definition of friendship. You can connect to people who are at different ages or stages than you. This comes with certain benefits, by the way (e.g. Shabbos meal invites). Honestly, I love being around one of my married friend’s mothers.

 

How to take the relationship from barely-acquainted to real friend? 

Share of yourself and what you have to offer — don’t listen to the critical inner voice that says you’re nothing new to these people. You are!

Listen to what people say and ask them to tell you more about themselves and what they’re into. Everyone wants to be seen and heard.

Mutual sharing fosters intimacy and closeness. “Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You, too? I thought I was the only one.'” — C. S. Lewis

 

What are your suggestions?

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