The second of the top three challenges you shared in the survey was not having dates. We haven’t talked enough about that here, so let’s get into it. When I was in my low 20’s, I had a conversation with one of my uncles about shidduchim. I was very down and said that no one was interested in me. …
One of the top three dating struggles you shared in the survey was the fear that there is something wrong with you or that you are doing something wrong in shidduchim. Let’s try to put that fear to rest. Several years ago I listened to a shiur by Mrs. Dina Schoonmaker on emunah in shidduchim (it was live …
Hi, everyone. I hope you all had a good Y”T. It’s been awhile since I added to our mindful dating series but it’s one of my favorite things on this blog so here’s another installment! Let’s say you’re on a date, maybe it’s the first or third or fifth, and you’re hit with a wave of anxiety. You get …
Hey, all, I just wanted to take a look at some common shidduch clichés and reexamine them. What I find the most irritating about the items on this list is that they all make such sweeping generalities and then leave it up to you to know how, or even whether, to apply them to your situation. Which isn’t really fair, …
This week my roommate helped me prepare for a job interview. We discussed what I would say when the interviewer would inevitably ask why I left Career #1. I hemmed and hawed, not sure how my answers sounded, when my roommate said, “You could just tell them you didn’t like it so you switched to something you enjoy.” This …
I’ve been in shidduchim for many years now, and there were times I was extremely lonely and times I wasn’t lonely at all. It depended on a few factors, including how interested I was in marriage, how many close friends were around, and what other fulfilling relationships — like new friends I made at work, or my extended family — …
Last week we talked about the pain of rejection, which is so real and present for many of us. At the same time, there is the struggle of being the one to say no yourself, and for some women (wildly raises hand) this is very difficult to do. Like extremely, in some cases (keeps hand raised). Because many of us …
I listened to a really interesting podcast episode about the history of the laugh track. Did you know that hearing a laugh track actually makes jokes seem funnier? That’s because of emotional contagion, the phenomenon where one person’s emotions trigger the same emotions in someone else. That’s also why the headlines we read each day and the images we look …
One of my friends knows to expect a certain text from me every so often: What am I doing wrong? Nothing, you’re doing everything you can be doing. There must be something I’m forgetting. Something. No, you do hishtadlus, you go out, you work on yourself, you have people you talk to. There must be another …
I’ve been meaning to write about this not-so-cheery topic for awhile but I had to get into the right frame of mind. So, let’s talk about putting yourself out there, trying (to get an appointment with a shadchan, to get a date, to date well, to like someone), rejection, maybe repeated rejection, chronic rejection, and the impact on your self-worth. …
