Two weeks ago I wrote about the ambiguous loss of singlehood, a concept I just learned about in my research for a school paper. The concept resonated strongly with me and based on the feedback I’ve received, with you, too. If you have the time or inclination, I’d highly recommend reading the full text of the journal article (citation …
Last year I wrote about how I plan to celebrate Tu B’Av once I’m married. Well, this year I decided to celebrate it single! As mentioned last year, Tu B’Av is mesugal for connection. If Tisha B’Av is a day we can mourn the ambiguous loss of singlehood, why can’t Tu B’Av be a day we celebrate the hope and …
Boundaries are a perpetually hot topic. In this post, I’d love to share what I’ve learned about the topic over the past few years, if I may. A boundary is a flexible, invisible line around you that marks off what you are responsible for (that’s inside your boundary) and what you are not responsible for (that’s outside your boundary). …
Hello, everyone. I hope you’re all doing well and drinking lots of water, especially before the fast. Last week I wrote about boundaries and people-pleasing, and I plan to post some more expanding on that topic later this week or next. So check back for that. This week I wrote a paper for one of my classes and …
Public service announcement: Your “yes” only means something if you have the choice to say “no.” I read an article a few weeks ago in which the author seemed to misunderstand the term “people-pleasing.” She gave the impression that a people-pleaser is someone who is unusually kind and selfless. Now, they may be that, too. But actually, a people-pleaser …
In February I read a fun and different book, Love Will Find You, by Kathryn Alice. The book went through a number of steps and exercises for helping you surmount old obstacles and negativity about dating, become open to accepting love, and attract the right person into your life. I don’t need to tell you that I see this kind of …
Some of the most basic yet most helpful advice I got in shidduchim was to not count dates. I was in middle of a parsha and pressuring myself to come to a decision. A friend came over on Shabbos and told me to tell myself I had until Succos to make a decision (this was in June). At the time I …
One of the most fervent hopes and prayers of many people in shidduchim is to have clarity. I often daven for clarity and have been wished clarity and have been told that the most important thing to have is clarity 😉 . Lately I’ve been considering what clarity could mean, aside from what I think is the most basic …
Hey, all. I thought it would be interesting to talk about who “takes charge” of your shidduchim. Do shadchanim contact you directly? Do you reach out to shadchanim on your own or does someone do it on your behalf? Who does shidduch research? How have things changed over the years? And are you happy with your current setup or are …
Initially, I was going to write this up like a Top 5 but…I will leave that to the pros. Up there with answering “what are you looking for?” is the subtle aggravation of trying to extract shidduch information from a hopeful suggester. (Disclaimer: THANK YOU to everyone who tries to make shidduchim, especially mine 😉 . You are appreciated.) …
