After re-listening to Cheaper by the Dozen a few weeks ago, I read Time Out for Happiness, a biography of Frank and Lillian Gilbreth written by their son (one of the author of Cheaper by the Dozen).
On their way across the country from California (where Frank and Lillian got married) to New York (where they lived at the start of their marriage), the couple got to work mapping out the One Best Marriage (they were, after all, management experts specializing in efficiency and finding the “one best way” to do every sort of task):
‘It started with a survey of qualifications and aptitudes…The “One Best Marriage” was to be secured through analyzing other successful marriages and synthesizing the result into a plan for this one…’
They made lists of the things they thought they could do well, in order to ‘see what each might contribute to the new partnership.’
Then they made lists of things that irritated them and things that they liked–both ‘rational and irrational’…
And, finally, each partner jotted down what he could remember of his family history, so they could appraise whatever endowment they might have to hand down to their children.
I can’t help but think of Arthur C. Brooks’ observation that a successful marriage is a start-up, not a merger. I think these metaphors are helpful.
What are your thoughts?
