Sociologist Mark Granovetter wrote that the most successful networking usually happens between acquaintances rather than close friends. This is because friend groups tend to know a lot of the same people whereas more distant acquaintances can link us up with new connections (like their own friend groups).
Relationships with acquaintances are known as “weak ties” and studies show that the more “weak tie” interactions we have (like going to a kiddush and being introduced to friends of friends, attending a workshop or class, or joining a group activity), the happier we are.
Sociologist Victor Nee wrote about knowledge spillover, how when one person has an idea or insight they can’t use directly in their own work, they share it with someone else who can. This is another benefit of making connections with new people.
Sometimes the best opportunities arise via relationships (second- or third-degree, too). Therefore connecting with others opens you for more opportunity. Even without making capital-c Connections, when you throw out a net, you usually come up with something interesting.
Reading about this concept was very eye-opening and made me think. Forming weak tie connections is one type of motion/hishtadlus for shidduchim and other areas of life.
One of my roommates and I have been going out a lot for Shabbos meals, motivated to form new weak tie connections. It’s been fun, too. We met a woman who chooses manuscripts for a frum publishing house, an old/new friend of mine who is into interior design and offered to help me decorate my next apartment for free, and a three-year-old boy who totally idolized me, which was an ego boost. And we hope to keep at it.
I’m curious to hear how this concept resonates with you. Do you actively seek out new connections? Do you prefer to nurture longer-standing relationships? Do you think this has to do with whether you are an introvert vs. extrovert? (I am an INFJ but I tend to be a sociable introvert).
