Aesthetics Vs. Materialism
I enjoyed this essay by Alexandra Fleksher on the issue of materialism in the frum community. It was published Chanukah time but is relevant any time of year.
Category: Self-Care
Too Busy
I got a text this week from someone who wanted to discuss a shidduch, and they asked if I was busy. I couldn’t tell if they meant busy as in otherwise occupied at that moment, or busy as in dating someone. But busy, I am. I recently read a book on optimizing time management for happiness, and I learned …
Under the Weather
Hi, all. I’ve been a bit sluggish about posting the past couple weeks because I’m under the weather. Seems like everyone is catching something these days. It might take a bit of time to get into a more frequent posting schedule, in the meantime I hope you can enjoy previous posts!
I Skipped My Cousin’s Wedding and Everyone Survived
Last week my 10-years-younger-than-me cousin got married and I did not attend. The truth is that I didn’t even consider going — I knew it was just not what I needed. A few years ago I would have suffered through the same but somehow with thirty came the freedom to stop caring about what other people think (everyone is too …
Glimmers
A friend recently sent me an article about “glimmers” which are the opposite of “triggers.” Triggers activate our fight/flight/freeze responses, but glimmers activate our sense of safety and connection. This is a concept from Deb Dana, LCSW, who is an expert in polyvagal theory, an approach to understanding and healing trauma. Glimmers are found in small moments and reminders of …
Muster Your Wits
One of my very favorite books is Emily of Deep Valley by Maud Hart Lovelace, set in 1912 Minnesota. Emily has just graduated from high school, and unlike all her college-bound friends, she is staying home to care for her grandfather who raised her. As fall turns to winter, Emily is depressed and lonely. She feels stuck, watching everyone else …
Low-Key Getaway
Hello, all. Last week I went away for a few days to my sister in Toms River. The idea was that I would use her pool every day but of course I didn’t use it once (lol). I went to my sister for vacation because I didn’t really know what to do with myself this summer but I knew …
Summer Break
Hi all, I’ll be going to my sister in Toms River for a few days and basically sitting by her pool. This is my low-key summer vacation — I’m hoping to see some friends too and go out to eat a bit. Also — I’m downloading the audio of The Fellowship of the Ring. Finally! I hope to …
Shidduchim Is an Industry (Or, Another Look at Dating Coaching)
Recently I’ve been realizing that what I really need — maybe what we all really need — is emotional support, validation, and nurturing, not more and more and more advice about how to get married. I’m realizing that no one knows the secret, even wonderful and wise people. I’m realizing that no one has discovered the formula, even people who …
Images and Art
If you go to an art museum this Chol Hamoed, here is an article to read before you go. (I am a fan of art museum therapy as a thing.) You can buy one or two postcards at the gift shop and save them for after Y”T when you can journal, and write about them. Ekphrastic writing is writing …